it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
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