Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Randomize
