ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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