It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
