He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
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