I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
