You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
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