and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Randomize
