wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
