That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize