i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize