The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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