jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
There's always time for handjobs
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Randomize