i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
You need a sexual gate keeper
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Randomize
