I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
