I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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