is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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