Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize