Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
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