Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Randomize
