please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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