I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
