Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
We left an ass print on the piano.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Randomize