i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Randomize
