You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Randomize
