so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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