1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Randomize
