No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
