I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Randomize
