you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize