ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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