Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
