She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize