she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
