I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Dicks are not precious.
You ate ashes out of my bong
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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