problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
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