are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Randomize
