I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
