420 ftw
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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