it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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