i always forget guys have bellybuttons
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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