Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Randomize
