I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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