I swear god or herbie drove my car home
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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