I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Randomize
