just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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