I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
someone owes me an orgasm
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
