I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
