Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
