Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
