So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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