oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
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