do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Randomize
