My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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