I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
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