Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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