Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
