Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
smell my finger.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
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